Post by Julie on Aug 20, 2007 10:03:32 GMT -5
It finally happened. I lost it bad enough that the other force inside me started to show through. I...I hurt people. I'm not really even sure how. It's a birthright, I know that much, but I've never even heard of something like it before. It feels...different. Like it belongs to some other creature, some other kind of fae. Nothing that awful should be a part of a member of the Glittering Throng. It's just not right.
And of course, it picks the one night when people are finally starting to relax, to think with something other than their greed for power and status. They stop talking about Seelie versus Unseelie, and start to talk about something new, something different that's both and neither at the same time. I finally see signs that with them, I don't have to be what the Court always expected me to be. I don't have to show that constant cold perfection. Now Seelie and Unseelie alike look at me like I'm some kind of freakish creature who ought not even exist in the first place. I'm not sure if they'd even choose to let me stay around. Not that they have any real choice in the matter, thanks to Faelin.
Hmm What does it mean that I can call him by his first name, no title or anything, and not immediately feel like I've made a mistake? I don't know if my manners are slipping here in the human lands, or if I just genuinely don't care anymore.
And now she's here, too. Calling her a oathbreaking bitch doesn't even begin to cover it. I swore I would see her dead in front of me if I ever had the chance. I had it over and over again at Kiernan's house, and somehow, she still walked out intact. She's the source of everything that's awful for me right now, and still the others force me to stop, to leave her be. She says I was banished for my own protection, but she's a liar for sale to the highest bidder. She says she swore an oath that means she can't tell us any of the details of her own supposed exile. Yeah, right. If there's a lick of truth to that whole story, then I'm a trow princess.
She's not safe yet, though. An oath is an oath, no matter when it's enforced. I swore I would see her dead. Now she's here in the mortal world, and it'll be easier than anything to just make her go away. Death is always easier than life, just like running down a hill is easier than running up. She's fragile now, mortal like the rest of us. Nothing will be easier than to oh, I don't know, maybe throw her into traffic. That way I can watch her die, slow and painful. Just like Micah. Then she'll see what she sent me to, what I've suffered through here in this world.
I have just about a month to see her ended. Maybe with her gone, I have a chance at being able to accept Faelin's invitation, and if only for one night, see the Shining Court again. I know that Faelin is mad, and I know he'll most likely kill me if I show up, but if Donal and Menelaus are right, then I don't have a choice and I'll go whether I like it or not, even knowing that I'm walking into pretty much certain death. It's not the Shadow Court, so I'm fairly certain I won't be dragged around by my entrails before I'm allowed to die. Maybe if I'm lucky, he'll just obliterate me with his magic before I have a chance to speak the truth that I was exiled to hide.
Maybe it won't be so bad to attend the festival after all...
And of course, it picks the one night when people are finally starting to relax, to think with something other than their greed for power and status. They stop talking about Seelie versus Unseelie, and start to talk about something new, something different that's both and neither at the same time. I finally see signs that with them, I don't have to be what the Court always expected me to be. I don't have to show that constant cold perfection. Now Seelie and Unseelie alike look at me like I'm some kind of freakish creature who ought not even exist in the first place. I'm not sure if they'd even choose to let me stay around. Not that they have any real choice in the matter, thanks to Faelin.
Hmm What does it mean that I can call him by his first name, no title or anything, and not immediately feel like I've made a mistake? I don't know if my manners are slipping here in the human lands, or if I just genuinely don't care anymore.
And now she's here, too. Calling her a oathbreaking bitch doesn't even begin to cover it. I swore I would see her dead in front of me if I ever had the chance. I had it over and over again at Kiernan's house, and somehow, she still walked out intact. She's the source of everything that's awful for me right now, and still the others force me to stop, to leave her be. She says I was banished for my own protection, but she's a liar for sale to the highest bidder. She says she swore an oath that means she can't tell us any of the details of her own supposed exile. Yeah, right. If there's a lick of truth to that whole story, then I'm a trow princess.
She's not safe yet, though. An oath is an oath, no matter when it's enforced. I swore I would see her dead. Now she's here in the mortal world, and it'll be easier than anything to just make her go away. Death is always easier than life, just like running down a hill is easier than running up. She's fragile now, mortal like the rest of us. Nothing will be easier than to oh, I don't know, maybe throw her into traffic. That way I can watch her die, slow and painful. Just like Micah. Then she'll see what she sent me to, what I've suffered through here in this world.
I have just about a month to see her ended. Maybe with her gone, I have a chance at being able to accept Faelin's invitation, and if only for one night, see the Shining Court again. I know that Faelin is mad, and I know he'll most likely kill me if I show up, but if Donal and Menelaus are right, then I don't have a choice and I'll go whether I like it or not, even knowing that I'm walking into pretty much certain death. It's not the Shadow Court, so I'm fairly certain I won't be dragged around by my entrails before I'm allowed to die. Maybe if I'm lucky, he'll just obliterate me with his magic before I have a chance to speak the truth that I was exiled to hide.
Maybe it won't be so bad to attend the festival after all...